We are providing home help and a listening ear to anyone who needs us

This is a painting done by one of my clients who is living with dementia. The day I saw him, he was painting this and I asked if I could take a photo. He told me that when he was younger he used to win prizes for art and now it was all he could do to try to remember which colours to use and which colour he had on the brush. In starting this conversation he was suddenly able to give me a revealing insight into how much he was suffering.

He told me slowly about how hard he found it to be aware of the deterioration of his memory. He told me what a struggle it was to try to do some simple painting and how frustrating it was when he made mistakes.

He told me over and over again that he could never have imagined that things would end this way. He said he knew that no one ever expects these things to happen to them. He said he wouldn’t wish this on anyone in the world.

I sat and listened and nodded, knowing that there was nothing I needed to add.

I have seen that when this gentleman struggles to find the words, the people around him tend to talk for him and talk over him. So I tried to give him all the space he needed to say everything he needed to say.

His wife was amazed at this speech that he had suddenly been able to give. She thought maybe it was because he hadn’t seen me for a while that he suddenly felt able to relay everything that he had been keeping inside. When he noticed her there he became overwhelmed with gratitude for everything that she had been doing for him and for the happy years they had had together. He became a bit tearful and she went to comfort him. I left them together and closed the door quietly behind me.

Hook Home Help is providing practical and emotional support and companionship to people in our local community. We are supporting some families who are living with memory loss and others who need weekly help following injury or who are recovering from operations like hip replacements. We are providing home help and a listening ear to anyone who needs us.